Getting over my body! (Luc lesson)

Sorry for the silence... Been a little hectic here at Gradidge base with sickness and the accompanying lack of sleep! Here is what i have been thinking about lately:

Since i fell pregnant i have felt like my body is not my own... It is weird cos 32 years of knowing your body and how it responds, feels, moves and just is, is all thrown out the window the moment you fall pregnant!
From the nausea to the growing boobs and an enormous tummy to the sore hips and feet and boobs (again) to actually feeling the little one move, your body feels weird.

And even once Luc was born my body was still not my own. Firstly i was just a huge milk machine but my body felt different, it looked different. I had curves where there werent curves before, my belly button looks different, my tummy is definitely different (!) and my body still responds differently to how it used to. I can eat foods i couldnt before (yay!) but i am still a bit off guavas.

To sum it up... Having a baby changes you... And my body is just one manifestation of that.

As i was changing Luc this morning and marveling at how he has grown i realised he is going through a similar process of learning about his body. Only difference is his didn't change, it is just all new!

What a privilege that i can experience a little of what he is experiencing... Where everything is new and wonderful and exciting and there is no judgement... And that is how i want to experience my "new" different body. I want to enjoy it and marvel in its complexity and how wonderfully it is made and not criticise...

End of me...

A week of teething (and sleepless- teething nights) followed by 2 weeks of sickness (and sleepless- sickness nights has left me tired. Very, very tired.

My poor Luc has had a chest infection with a nasty cough for the last week and a half and so he hasnt been feeling well and hasnt been sleeping well. i know he isnt feeling well because he clings to me and gives me these snotty- bury his head in my shoulder- hugs. It has also meant my easy going boy has not been so easy going. There are fights to eat and sleep and go back to sleep and take medicine. It has been challenging.

So all in all it has been a hard couple of weeks. And now Philippe is sick and i am not feeling wonderful either (bit of a sore throat and ears).

i read this great blog which summed up what i am feeling really well. Read about it here. and it made me remember that the good thing of being at the end of me is i stop relying on me. I stop relying on my wisdom and knowledge and energy and fix-it-all- ness. At the end of me is where grace is.
Grace to not have it all together
Grace to miss washing my hair one day
Grace to lose my temper
Grace to be tired
Grace to admit that this is hard
Grace to just lie down on your back on the carpet and not do anything for a little while
Grace to not make dinner and just eat toast for supper
Grace to not work but give myself an evening off

A fear of blue balls...

Haha- for those of you who are reading this to delve deep into my phobias. Sorry... nothing like that and nothing x- rated either.

In the last week i have noticed that Luc is afraid of blue balls (the rolling, throwing kind). He has an orange and red ball which are not a problem BUT his blue ball is! Weird!
I was chatting to my sister in law about it and we were laughing about it and she just mentioned that she wonders what on earth goes on inside these kids heads.

It must be quite an overwhelming world where everything you encounter is new and possibly scary and possibly dangerous or fun or gross.

<<< Lucs first trip to the zoo...So this is not scary but BLUE BALLS are!

Kids are such blank slates and they encounter everything with no idea what or how the thing will react.

I hope we can instill some important lessons on Luc's blank slate- like being kind, generous, hopeful, joyful. That to discover new things is GOOD (not scary). To try different things even if it involves blue balls. To treat everyone with respect. To work hard. To play hard. To love deeply. To be vulnerable (and this is a really scary one). To appreciate what you have. To love your parents (very important) and family.

So much to teach this boy. I pray we can write encouraging, up- building, foundational script over Luc's blank slate.