Let's start a conversation...

"We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they have all learned to live together in the same box!"

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Losing a baby (part 2)

Sorry for the radio silence... After last post I had a little vulnerability hangover! (Read about it HERE) but it also made me realise I needed to say a few more things about losing a baby...

We lost our baby early and it was devastating. I kind of want to apologise for my grief with excuses like "its ok cos it was early" or "we were lucky because it was early". But actually it is ok to feel pain even if it was early on in the pregnancy.

I was overwhelmed with messages from other moms who had lost babies. And I really feel for all of you. no matter how early or how far in the pregnancy it was. my heart cries with you. I cry with you as you long for your child.

It made me realise how we need to talk about this... so many women (and men) are silently going through this. and I think we feel like there isn't space to grieve because it wasn't alive/ born/ viable (whatever excuse we tell ourselves). but it is sore. it is hard.

We don't tell people we are pregnant until 12 weeks because something may happen. i am not sure this is that healthy...I am not advocating fb announcements as soon as you see 2 lines but I do think we should be telling our support circles. we need to have support if something happens.

which brings me to the next point... there is nothing wrong with you and you didn't do something wrong if you lost a baby.