Luckily because it was my birthday there were lots of phone calls so we had to stop and answer the phone. Perfect excuse for a breather!
While on our ride we stopped at the quickshop at the garage for some sustenance (Honestly tho- i needed sustenance, Philippe could probably have continued for another 100km's, especially at the pace we were going!) While Philippe was buying the sugar i was catching my breath. I watched as this man arrived. He must have been my age (and I AM NOT THAT OLD, despite what my brothers may say).He got out his car and greeted the petrol attendant as "my boy".
I started bristling (inside). Lucky for him i was too dead to move (I wish that was true...I am still too cowardly to confront people in situations like this. And should we???) Anyway back to the point...
Firstly... dont we love talking about other people as possessions... Since when do we own any other person? We speak particularly like this about people who work for us. I do it all the time. I thought slavery ended a couple of 100 years ago.
Secondly...How can we call another grown up, adult a boy. It is so demeaning. And implies superiority. I realise it is a remnant of apartheid speech where we talked about garden boys and kitchen girls. But following on from what i said last time we need to watch how we speak as it givves us space in our heads to justify how we treat people. By calling black people in SA boys and girls didnt we just reinforce the thinking that "those people" needed governing, organising, and belittling because they were children.
I guess i'm just talking about more of the same... Watching what we say!
I so agree with this "boy" and "girl" mentality and even heard someone use a word that is totally offensive. What I find repulsive is when people assume that because we are also white that we think like them! My parents taught me that we are to respect ALL people not just those who are like us.
ReplyDeleteIt's true how people assume because you're white you'll agree with their racism... In writing this blog and thinking more about this stuff and talking more to people I think i'm coming to realize that we have to be bold and challenge people when they are racist or prejudiced.
ReplyDeleteThis scares me and any good ideas on how to be brave and challenge people would be appreciated?
Here's a great video on how to tell someone that they sound racist: http://www.illdoctrine.com/2008/07/how_to_tell_people_they_sound.html
ReplyDeleteThe trick is to make a distinction between the person's identity, and what they just said. Don't say, "You are a racist" because that won't go anywhere useful. But saying, "What you just said was racist" is a bit more useful, because it's not a statement about that person's identity, but about something they said.
Having this kind of conversation is NOT easy; I mean, who likes having a complete stranger say, "What you just said was racist" to you? I've had a few of these conversations online and they didn't go well. And in the matrix of societal power, I'm kind of right at the top: white, able-bodied, Christian male. And if I encounter a lot of resistance in these conversations, how much more will others who are not white or male or able-bodied experience?
Heck, I even had my Dad get cross with me last week. He was driving and dropped my Mom off at Woolies to grab some quick food. And he parked in a disabled space. I'm sitting on the back seat, and I asked him to move. He did, but man he was pissed off with me.
I asked him to move as nicely as I could, but it still didn't go well. In the end, I just shrugged: I was going to ask anyway, and I can't control how he would respond.
People I know who are actively involved in anti-race work find it really draining. I guess people don't like hearing difficult things that are challenging.
There are also educational approaches to anti-racism. The dominant one in South Africa is the one advocated by Jonathan Jansen, called "post-conflict pedagogy." The idea is that contemporary South Africa is a post-conflict zone, and any anti-racist pedagogical approach should take this into account, and not push those in the "oppressor" demographic too hard, because otherwise they will "respond with rage."
I find that deeply disturbing. Jansen is saying that white people must be treated really softly and gently when it comes to any anti-racism work, because otherwise the response is one of rage. How odd: those who are very well educated and privileged aren't able to hear truths that conflict with our own cultural truths without an angry emotional response.
And yet we still so often think we're superior to others...what a contradiction!
Oh - here's the properly linked video: http://www.illdoctrine.com/2008/07/how_to_tell_people_they_sound.html
ReplyDeleteThanks for the video. That is cool Rog...
ReplyDelete