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"We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they have all learned to live together in the same box!"

Wednesday 2 October 2013

On being (happily) married

This is something thats been on my mind as 2 fairly close friends have recently got divorced as well as a friend i have lost contact with. And to be honest it threw me... All these marriages looked great from the outside. I thought they were happy!

May i just say that i am not condemning divorce or the people who got divorced. I would never... I know how hard marriage is and realise how little we know what goes on in other peoples lives.

But what i wonder... Is marriage really about being happy? I am not advocating unhappy marriage but i dont think it is the only thing we should aspire to in marriage. Lets blame hollywood for our crazy "happily ever after" ideas about marriage! Speaking from my experience... I love being married, i love being (an effective) team but i am not always happy. a lot of the time, but not always.

What i do think marriage is about is growing and shaping us...
It is hard so it changes us (hopefully for the better)
It is together so you have to be less selfish
It is all the time so you have to sometimes suck it up even when you dont feel like it
It is 2 (in our case, opinionated, strong willed) people so you have to compromise

it is also learning to be gentle and humble and gracious and forgiving... And basically all the things i am not! And thats why it is about growing and changing.

P.S. This has been a hard, long one to write. Lots of reasons but mainly i dont want to seem offensive or know- it- all on a subject i feel i know very little on.

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