Luc lesson

Luc is such a joy... What i love about him is how the simplest things give him so much pleasure and happiness!
My Luc lesson this week is about taking immense, overwhelming, toe- curling pleasure in small things... like:

1. Bathing
2. Seeing people you love (even if they've only just stepped out the room)
3. The tupperware cupboard (Luc's new favourite play spot)
4. Trees (my boy is a sucker for trees)
5. Tasting new things (although Luc thinks yoghurt IS the nectar of the gods...)
6. Being around people
7. Making cool= loud noises with different things
8. Moving
   
9. Seeing and touching and tasting
10. Snuggling up with your favourite soft toy (Luc's toy is sheepy)
11. Playing in the sandpit
12. Splashing
13. Laughing
14. Hugs and kisses (we are getting open mouthed gobby kisses in return these days)
15. Being content (I think Luc's contentment is a whole posting of its own)
16. Pulling funny faces
    
17. Finding your voice
18. Sleeping
19. Being at home 

Racist talk!

Over the weekend we saw some peeps we haven't seen in a while and i was a little stunned by the racist talk... Not directed at my racial group or the majority of us that were present, but racist...
what i wonder... when people talk like that about one group, do they talk like that about all different groups... depending on the audience?

I am so over racist talk.

It is unnecessary and nasty and generalising (which i hate!). I dont think it is ever OK to speak like that and i wonder why people still think its OK? I think we all struggle with racist generalisations at some stage but hopefully they stay in our heads! And we deal with them in our heads and try change our thinking...
Racism is not right. It is not right like adultery, lying, maliciousness, slander, assault,  are not right... We know those things are not right so why does racism slip through as OK?
 

Culture?!

I know as white English South Africans we are sometimes ashamed of our culture or lack thereof? we aren't always sure what our culture looks like. We don't have a definite list of WHITE ENGLISH foods or a WHITE ENGLISH dress code and so we feel like we dont have a culture!?

In thinking about how i want to raise Luc i have been thinking about my culture or tradition and what i want to pass on to him. I realised that it isnt important if it is my white english culture or Philippe's coloured culture what i want to pass on to him is our families culture and traditions...
And language has me a bit stumped here... Traditions? Culture? The best term seems to be "things we do"

So these are some things that i want to pass on to him. Some are Philippe's families things, some are from my family but most are from our family. And some we do, some we do sometimes and some are only good intentions but will hopefully become traditions.

1. Loving and valuing family. And prioritising family
2. Celebrating birthdays with singing (Philippe's family are much better at the singing!), presents (my family) and in particular quirky pressies (Us!)
3. Eating together as a family
4. Love for the outdoors
5. Respecting and being interested in other people (even different, weird ones)
6. Being silly and funny and laughing at your own jokes and having in- family jokes that only we find funny
7. Giving to people in need
8. Being generous with our time, money and stuff (Philippe is better at this than me...Work in progress!)
9. Attending church as a family
10. Love for reading
11. Being life- long learners
12. Not being apathetic
13. Valuing and celebrating our friends
14. Exercising regularly (Again something Philippe does better than me)
15. Saving 1 christmas present to open with just our immediate family on christmas morning regardless of who we are sharing christmas with
16. Cuddling together in bed (once in a while!)
17. Chatting through out the day on bbm, sms, fb, whats app...

i will keep adding to this list as i think of things...

Luc lesson

been thinking a lot about what i thought i knew vs what i really know vs what books tell me i know in this parenting game.
When we fell pregnant i went a bit crazy with reading stuff. i love to read and now i had a whole new unknown subject to read up on... WELL- worst idea ever! all that reading just completely freaked me out and made me paranoid. i mean, one website even said you cant drink tap water when you are pregnant! Seriously?! So i made a decision- 1 book! and i stuck to it... Sure i asked peoples opinions and people gave their opinions (lots of them) without being asked BUT those are easier to ignore!

in parenting i have tried to stick to the same principle- 1 book! but even that has been hard. what i have realised (my luc lesson) is that i need to trust myself. Philippe and i are Luc's parents for a reason. Because God chose us to be and we need to trust that we actually know our son.
and honestly- you do what works for you! One of my friends said to me that it is like when you become a parent there is no more judgement of other parents. so true! i understand now- you are just doing what works for you.
So, for us... Luc doesnt sleep well during the day and we dont force it because he sleeps pretty well at night. it works for us!
Luc often wont eat unless we put yoghurt with his food. it works for us!

If he won't sleep at night he comes into bed with us. It works for us!
We give him a dummy. It works for us!

We have a nanny when i work 3 mornings a week. It works for us!

The trick is trusting ourselves in these decisions...

How a friend changed my life...

Today i had my hair cut by Stacy which is always so exciting because i always leave HAIR ON 1st IN GREENSIDE  feeling like a million bucks and looking great...

 My new hair :) And our garden wall- 1 handed phone photo!











Got me thinking about my incredible hair dresser and friend Stacy.
I haven't got the greatest self image but it is loads better than it used to be and i can attribute a lot of that to Stacy. I know Stacy from church and she had been nagging me to come see her to have my hair done. i put it off and put it off...mainly cos going to the hair dresser was traumatic. staring at myself for a couple of hours and leaving not feeling great... not my idea of fun.
So Stacy, booked me an appointment 1 day and told me to be there. I went, with trepidation, but i went. Stacy did colour in my hair, cut my hair in a short funky hair style and tinted my eyebrows. And gave me a 3 hour pep talk on myself... I dont think she even charged me.
And i looked good! i felt good!

It was like she flipped a switch in me... It wasn't like the next week i met Prince Charming AKA Philippe BUT...  I suddenly had confidence. i stepped up into leadership positions at church and work. it felt like i became more me... and i started seeing myself with more moderation... i am who i am- i am beautiful- i am good enough- i am me.

Stacy is a brilliant hair dresser stylist and she used her amazing gifts to bless me hugely. and change how i saw myself.
In thinking about Stacy i think that is the best thing you can do in life use your talents to bless someone else!

Things people say!

Last week i took Luc to the sister at Dischem to be weighed. He is now a hefty 7kg! No wonder i am exhausted by the end of the day.
As you arrive you sign in so that there can be no arguments about who is next in line. I was signing in and had my back to the other people (an elderly lady in a wheelchair and her son),  and i hear this lady say to her son- "Wasn't that a white lady? How does she have this child?"
The son was obviously embarrassed because later while his mother was seeing the sister he told me she is senile...

I'll be honest- i thought it was quite funny and was chuckling to myself as i signed in... but as i write what she said down i guess some people may be offended by the comment... People are quick to comment on what Luc looks like... My post about coffee coloured people
I actually dont mind the comments. Even the one by the senile granny at Dischem. I am just interested in why...Is it because he looks quite different from me? Most people ask tentatively "What nationality is his dad?" or something along those polite lines...

i am not sure really if i am trying to make a point here... but do we purely get so many comments because he is a very different colour from me or does everyone get this commentary on their children? I would love to hear!

Luc lesson...

Sorry i have been a bit quiet the last week...
I was sick and thats never fun... but being sick as a mommy is a whole other ball game. There is no having an afternoon nap or lying on the couch feeling sorry for yourself. My little boy doesn't understand why i am not playing at 100% energy levels. At one point i positioned multiple cushions around Luc while i lay on the floor of his room watching him play.
What this "being sick as a mommy" has taught me is:

• I am not the centre of the universe... Being a mommy teaches you that quickly but this past week has hammered it home... It is so good to get over myself. the more i do this mommy thing i realise how selfishly i have lived life. I did what i wanted, when i wanted it. even in my marriage i was guilty of that. it was too often about me and my needs and not enough about Philippe and his needs or our families needs. So, Luc in his unassuming way, has thrown me in the deep end with this one. His needs are immediate and he doesnt understand that i am not feeling 100%! i have to put aside myself... And that is a good thing!
• ASK FOR HELP! I needed to ask for help from my mom and Philippe. i am really good at being passive- aggressive when i dont get help... I actually need to say- please come home a bit early to help me or please watch Luc so i can sleep... Feeling sorry for myself and muttering to myself isn't going to get me help or communicate what i need

Thankfully i am feeling loads better...